Monday, March 5, 2012

Stuck in a Rut

Yep, that's me...I am stuck. Two weeks ago I was on fire with the Holy Spirit! Now I feel as though I am clawing at the side of a cliff trying to hang on.

I somehow, selfishly, have tried to grab the reigns from my Father's Hands. I don't even know how to drive on my own.

Every minute of every day I have to remember that I am never in control. If I have an inkling of negativity, what I SHOULD do is silently ask Jesus for help. What I NEED to do is offer those icky feelings so that I can be at peace with any given situation.

Why am I not doing this?

It seems so easy written down on paper.

What is wrong with me?

Do you feel this way too???

As I humble myself, as I lose my pride with recognizing my selfishness, my true original sinful behavior, I realize that this is my cross to bear during this Lenten season. As Jesus was in the desert, my 40 days is learning more about my place in this world as a Catholic woman and as a spiritual warrior.

I must take each day as it comes. Each valuable lesson my children can teach me, I must open my eyes to and see what Jesus sees. I have been looking with eyes of the flesh and this is why I have been so negative lately!


Two weeks ago during Sunday mass, I had knelt down for prayers after receiving the Eucharist. All of a sudden, I just wanted to cry for no reason at all...I opened my eyes and I just looked around at all my brothers and sisters in Christ. I was seeing them through Jesus' eyes!!

I cannot explain to those who have never felt this. I was filled with the Holy Spirit!!!

I know God wanted me to see with unconditional love to all my family (in this instance it just so happened to be my Catholic community). It was a wonderful feeling!!

Now I understand why He wanted me to experience that!

He needs me to be the woman I am meant to be.

All I needed was to sit and explain my experiences to you, dear Faithful Ones! THANK YOU!!!!!

What does God expect of you?

Are you at the side of a cliff barely hanging on or are you standing on top of it?

I share my experiences with you in hopes that you will reflect on your own personal intimacy with Christ. Everyone has a calling, a vocation. Everyone is called to do something great. All we have to do is be open and listen. Xoxo.


  1. My Dearest Beth,
    I have been where you are and there have many times when I have attended mass and have loooked around at my brothers and sisters in Christ and felt like or did cry. I too realized Jesus was showing me something. He loves us so much and wants us to see we are all interrelated. All we do effects each other good and the bad. We are his!
    About the "hanging on the cliff", I feel that anyone who is really walking the walk and looking around to see the Lord in all things that He shows us many things and oh so gently too... like, yes, our sins and our pride. And also all His daily miracles! We need to be humbled and realized we can not do anything with out Him.. He gives us the breath we breathe... He does all the good that comes from us. We cannot even take credit for that. I have been "hanging on" at many different times in my life. I think once you are set "on fire" for Him. He will then test us to see even if we do not "feel right" will we still seek Him out? Or was it only because of the "goodness" we felt that we sought Him? That is the question for all of us. Do we "fight the fight" of our feelings of our selfishness and our wants and search him out? Even when our feelings are not "there". Beth "fight the fight" and look to him for all things your reward will be more then. Our question to Him every morning should be "What can I do to please you this day Lord, what is your will for me this day." He should always be first and that is something we all need to remember. It is one I am always strugglung to put rightinmy life. Hang on and prayers are coming for you and all of us.
    God Bless

    1. Beth when we spoke about this, we both agreed that there is also something else at work here... and that is the Evil One. During Lent especially, Satan tries his very hardest to separate us from God in any way he can. We have to strive particularly hard to make Jesus our focus - talking to Him as you would address a friend throughout the day; and finding quiet moments (HARD for moms!) to devote your spirit to Him. This is our challenge throughout the liturgical year - but as we all have discovered, even more challenging to do in Lent. But when we do make the time for Christ, we often find that there are more rewards in the Lenten season.
      Prayers, and love to you!

      - Andrea